I sometimes imagine myself somewhere away from home. Confident, feeling powerful and enjoying my surroundings. Then reality hits – I can’t do it, I can’t go there.
I’ve decided to log a list of places or things I’d like to do this year. All of which are mundane, every day things that I wouldn’t have even batted an eyelid at a year ago. Oh how things change!
- Soft play
- Local Play Group
- Eating Out
- Hospital (to visit niece or nephew)
- Plane / abroad
- Day out with the kids
- Take my Daughter to her trampolining class
Not only am I narrowing my world by staying in and letting Agoraphobia take a hold of me, I’m also teaching my children that the world is a scary place and that Mummy isn’t brave enough to take the plunge for their sakes. They’ve missed out on all the activities I used to love doing because I just can’t face the anticipation of a panic attack.
This year I WILL do all these things. I have to. This is my road to recovery and despite my fear at what lies ahead within those little bullet points, I’m going to do it!